How'd I get here?

That's my first question: How'd I get here? How did the number on the scale become what it is? (Which I'm not brave enough yet to share with you. Maybe someday. That day is not today.)

When you watch The Biggest Loser, the contestants will talk about how they'd hit up the drive through on the way home and inhale a cheeseburger/large fries/Coke, then go home and eat an entire pizza for dinner. I don't do that. I've never eaten an entire container of ANYTHING in one serving that wasn't a single-serving thing. Not even Ben and Jerry's. So I have some semblance of willpower.

To kick it off right, I have hypothyroidism. Basically, my metabolism is slower than most people's. So I'm already behind the 8 ball with that one. But I've lost before. Why is losing again so difficult?

I love food. I'm a foodie. I love to cook amazing food. And I love to go out to eat with my family. Call it the Carrie Bradshaw effect: If you're young and successful, you should be out eating and drinking. My Facebook profile is full of in-restaurant pics. And if you're in a restaurant, are you going to order the dry salad and steamed salmon? Hell to the no! You're going to order the good stuff, because that's what you came for, right?

So I order the good stuff. And I don't want to waste it because it's not like we're there all the time, so I eat a lot of it - too much. To the overfull feeling. Then I feel like crap the next day. So I'm depressed and mad at myself. So I eat more to make me feel better (hello, emotional eating). Etc. Etc. Etc.

And here we are today. I need to change my mindset to food as fuel for my body, powering me through daily life, and through kick ass workouts. But more on those tomorrow.

Loaded question time: How is your relationship with food? Do you