Friday, January 18, 2013

Emotional Eating

[Warning: heavy stuff ahead.]

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of the hardest weekend in my life - the sudden death of my nephew, JT. He was only eight years younger than me - like the little brother I never had. And one Saturday morning, the phone rang, and he was gone. No farewell, no chance to say goodbye. Just gone. And it has been a long year, full of emotional eating. And I think that brought on some of the weight I'm battling today. Not all of it, but certainly some. And I often struggle with it - I'm sad, I want to eat something that will make me feel better. But it's just food. It doesn't control how I feel, and it can't heal the pain, no matter what that pain is from.

As my family marks the solemn one-year anniversary, it would be easy to fall back into that pit. But from that perspective, I consider today a success. I started the day with Starbucks' Perfect Oatmeal topped with brown sugar and nuts...

...and a grande nonfat latte. No syrup, no white chocolate mocha topped with whipped cream (my one-time drink of choice). Nope, just a plain latte with a packet of sugar and some cinnamon sprinkled on top. And it felt good. What's more, it tasted amazing.

Lunch was a vegetarian chili from Aladdin's Eatery, with feta and half a pita. Chinese takeout sounded amazing. Pizza? Awesome. But the bad food would only have fed the bad feelings, and I resisted.

This weekend will continue to be difficult. But my goal is to stay strong. Maybe I'll throw in a Spin class - I have extra emotion to burn. Better there than at the bakery.

What about you? Do you "eat your feelings?" Or do keel your emotions separate from what you put in your body?

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